April 27, 2010

Be the Change

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.  – Gandhi

I have always loved that quote.  I don’t even care who said it…I know it’s true.  The best part about it is that if you change the last word it is just as true…and maybe hits closer to home. 

Try this: You must be the change you wish to see in the school. (Am I showing my kids how to love learning by being excited about the new things I am learning?  Do I demonstrate how to dig into something challenging and not give up?)

You must be the change you wish to see in the relationship. (Am I expecting someone else to change in order to get along? Am I sharing the love I wish to receive?  Am I forgiving quickly?)  

You must be the change you wish to see in the home. (Ah…this is where the rubber hits the road for me right now.  What is happening in my home that I don’t like?  Am I being the change?)   You must be the change you wish to see. (period)

My own attitude, temper, facial expressions, you name it IS the state of our home.  Imagine the environment if my own thoughts are focused on negative things.  That translates into a whole bunch of unhappiness.

Here are some things I want to be the change around and some people who have ideas to help…

Organization. I want everyone in my house to be organized. That translates into: I need to be organized. Sometimes I’m doing better than others.  For years my dear, dear friend Dawn has been my organization mentor.  She has helped me change some bad habits and has helped me let go of a lot of stuff.  It’s been great.  She should have been paid a lot.  Problem for me is, I moved away.  I can’t call on her to come sit with me and make me clean out a closet anymore.  What to do?  Though there is nobody like Dawn, here is someone with some great ideas and I love the name of her blog : the lazy organizer

Healthy Choices. I want everyone to be making healthy choices for their bodies.  Which means…I have to stop the two o’clock chocolate fix. Who am I kidding?  My kids KNOW if I am eating chocolate at two.   What kind of example am I if I sneak around eating “red light foods” in the middle of the day?  Yeah, I need to change that one pronto.  I happened across a few ideas on what to do with ten minutes…instead of rummage the cupboard for stray chocolate chips at live bold and bloom. And exercise. If I do it, I’m happy.  And I don’t need the two o’clock fix quite as intensely. My children see the importance of keeping their bodies healthy when I keep mine healthy. There is also the added bonus that I may be able to avoid complete embarrassment come summer at the pool.  It really can be as easy as running out the front door for an early morning walk or run.  Or on the next library trip checking out a pilates dvd.

Service. I want my children to see ways to be of service to others without being asked. So many people have been great examples of service to me, like my neighbor who spent too much of Saturday helping us out with car trouble. I think we create goodness in this world when we take a few minutes to think about someone else and what they really need. We can serve in our homes: clean the car out for hubby,  take out the trash if he normally does,  make the bed,  pull our neighbors garbage can in for them,  do a chore for a kid when they aren’t expecting it,  pull some weeds for an elderly neighbor.  I guess it’s just taking the time to look around and see where there are needs and what you can do that is kind and unexpected.

Peace. I want more peace in my home.  Not the quite kind, necessarily, though it is always welcome.  I want that inner peace of things being right in the world. I want to be a better peacemaker in my home.  Peace in the world won’t come as long as there isn’t peace in the hearts of people.  For me, that means I need to take time in the morning to pray, connect with God, read scriptures and feel gratitude for all I have been blessed with.  And then when I feel at the end of my rope ( most likely after two when I haven’t had chocolate or a nap :) ), remember those moments and bring that feeling of peace into all the craziness.  I am also taking on re-reading some of the Arbinger Institute books with a study group. 

Are you trying to be the change in something?  How are you doing it?

You can visit more mom’s taking on the 30 minute blog challenge at steady mom.

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April 23, 2010

Weekly Wrap-Up, April 23, 2010

Not sure if it’s Spring in the air (which it finally is…thank you green grass, thank you yellow daffodils, thank you little birds)  or the nearing-the-end-of-the-homeschool-year fizzle, but my crew has been squabbling.  I don’t like it.  We really don’t have much fighting amongst the ranks, but the past weeks have been too much.  I’m just going to blame it on too many grandparents spoiling the kids :) .  Something had to be done and so…we worked.  We didn’t get around to school each day until the garden beds were weeded and cleared, rooms clean, laundry done, floors swept, bathrooms cleaned.  I think we are all energized by the work and the kids are miraculously more interested in school and getting along now than the past few weeks. Work is such a blessing.

Our work turned into fun learning….

I left some kiddos in the garden weeding while I put the baby down.

When I returned I found an arena, a pit and a few gladiator ants being run through the gauntlet. The biggest ant was fondly named Lem (Carry on, Mr. Bowditch).  True…not much weeding happened when I was absent, but they were collaborating on a fun project.  We also found various beetles and then identified them.  Upon discovering the main meal for one variety are the ants in our garden…he was promptly released to eat his fill.

Work can be fun!

And it feels like things are right again…

Speaking of work…what do you and your kids do?

More weird fun weekly wrap-ups here.

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April 21, 2010

Five Steps to a Happier Life

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

That is one of the biggest lies of childhood. I can remember yelling that at the bully down the street as I walked home from the bus stop after school.  I wish it were true, but in fact words can have more profound and lasting effects than a good gut punch on the playground.

The words we use are important and potent. How we talk to those around us and to ourselves has a strong and lasting impact on our lives.

Recently I learned a powerful lesson in the power of words.  I had a very serious disappointment that shocked me completely.  Unfortunately, I didn’t deal with it very well and it has taken me nearly a year to get it sorted out.  In the process what I have learned is that what we say to ourselves affects the way we act.  Thoughts lead to actions.  I know, pretty basic.  But it is true.  So true that we don’t give it proper credit.

If our thoughts are focused on the negative, our feelings and then our words will follow.  Our words will miraculously manifest themselves in action, and not just our actions.  Our perceptions of what is going on around us will be negative and we will attract exactly what we are focused on.  Amazingly, other things will go wrong (the rain, our car breaks down, we get sick, we fail at something)

The other ugly truth is that our negative thoughts and feelings about others will turn into words that hurt. If we stew over how we’ve been wronged, irritating habits, problems, disappointments, etc. we will find a way to express those feelings.  We have power to completely ruin relationships, hurt feelings, and stunt growth.  When I think of what is at stake, I gasp. As parents, especially, we are creating patterns for our children to follow.  Not only is our brain development effected by our negative/positive thinking but their brain development is as well.

I had never been so depressed in my life.  Which means I recognize I created my own depression. I’m not saying all depression is self-created, but I am willing to bank on it that some is.  Focusing on the negative creates a physical change in our brains:

“If you are repetitively thinking negative thoughts, you are actually strengthening neural pathways in your brain that support continued negative thinking. Negative thinking leads to negative feelings, and negative feelings impact your relationships, work, motivation and sense of well-being.” –Barrie Davenport

If that isn’t depressing, I don’t know what is.  This is why it feels hard to snap out of it, we have created a path in our brain making it easier to be negative than positive.  We are the authors of our own unhappiness.

Once we recognize our negative thinking we can take steps to stop it. It isn’t easy when you have an established habit.

1. Recognize when you are falling into the negativity trap. It may take a while to see what triggers your negative thoughts, but spend some time trying to be aware.  Don’t push all the blame on to something or someone else.

2. Positive self talk that is specific. Whatever it is that you are struggling with, create positive thoughts and words to say to yourself.  Don’t be afraid to say it out loud if it helps.  When you are faced with your trigger fill your head with the positive stuff that is the antidote.

3. Write it down. If you write down all of your frustrations and anger you are only further committing it to your mind and heart.  Instead, write down positive things.  For example, goals in your relationships and life.  There are some great books out there to help with the details of getting it on paper so that it helps you.  I recommend Steven Covey’s seven habits and Leslie Householder’s ideas.

4. In moments of frustration, think before you speak. You know the old adage count to ten.  Pause for a moment and look at your child or husband or neighbor or friend and really think about who they are (hint: someone really special and amazing.  I like to take the big picture/eternal perspective on this).

5. Let the positive words sink to your heart. If you are thinking it then you can begin to feel it and when you feel it then it will come out in your words and actions. Once that happens life has a way of working with you.

Try it.  I think you will find even in circumstances that are beyond our control we can be happy if we are letting the positive take root in our thoughts, hearts and actions.  We can be the authors of our own happiness.


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April 13, 2010

Organizational Epiphany

My five year old always forgets to put his socks on when it’s time to leave the house.  This would be fine if I didn’t have to go downstairs to retrieve them while I am trying to get a baby in the car.  Today’s revelation was to put all of his socks in a basket in the coat closet…always handy.  Happy Mama.

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April 9, 2010

Weekly Wrap-Up, April 9, 2010

It’s Grandparent fun this week with my parents visiting.  School ended with their arrival mid week and the spoiling began.  A few highlights:

I love Easter.  I love that it’s a quieter more spiritual celebration than most others.  But I also love the coloring of eggs…it’s the kid in me.

Cohesion and Adhesion: My thirteen year old decided to be teacher for the day and ran a much tighter ship than I.  Let’s call her Sergeant Sister ;) .  She filled droppers with different liquids: oil, colored tap water, rubbing alcohol and soapy tap water.  They put one drop of each on a piece of wax paper to test what each bump of liquid looked like.  In a ten ml graduated cylinder they dropped 50 drops of each liquid (one at a time – cleaning it between) to measure volume. The result let them know how the bump of liquid related to the volume in the cylinder.  Then they recorded the results in their comp books. I know, not a lot of detail…let me know if you want to try this yourself with more instruction.

Carry On, Mr. Bowditch – We are reading this wonderful book by Jean Lee Latham.  It has brought about some of the best discussions with my children this year.  What a wonderful tale of what education really is.  Nathaniel Bowditch is a great example of how to be a scholar, or in scholar-phase, and that learning never ends.  This is a fabulous book for boys and girls, moms and dads.  If you want a story about never giving up, not making excuses for failure, how to learn anything you want to learn, how to find a mentor and being humble…read it to your kids.

Our family has been working on our Family Mission Statement for months.  It has been a fun process and we have about one more week to go in getting our raw material crafted into words.  We have used Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families and the Fifth Discipline Fieldbook to guide our brainstorming.  My five year old has had some of the most thoughtful input and I love that every member has contributed to every step of the process with meaningful ideas (well…the one year old has provided love and support and comic relief).  Related to mission statements….Two other books I have read recently are Free the Beagle and The Jackrabbit Factor.  Good stuff to think about. They are written in a way that is accessible for children for great discussion.   If you have a Beagle, as we do, you will want to read Free the Beagle for the title alone…fantasy.

And lastly…my favorite re-learning this week..it was time for me to re-read a homeschooling classic.  Great for any moms with wee babes and older children.  I’ve had it on a scrappy printout for years with no author name on it, but I found a link today.  When you feel you just can’t do school and meet all the needs, read The Baby IS the Lesson.

Visit Kris for some more inspiration!

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April 2, 2010

Weekly Wrap-Up April 2, 2010

“Quick! QUICK!  Get out of bed!  It’s snowing!  There’s no school today!” That is how my mother woke me up nearly every April Fools day of my life.  When you grow up in the lush (meaning rainy) Willamette Valley of Oregon you spend most of your winter school days praying for snow…because snow – even a dusting – means no school.  Feeling rather lost for a really great April Fools joke to get the kids out of bed with hearts pumping…we just reversed it.  “Quick, get out of bed, the sun is out and the snow melted…let’s go jump on the trampoline!”  Not quite the same effect, admittedly.

We started out the week with gorgeous sun, warmth (60′s :) , bikes and trampoline.  Ended it with new inches of snow and icicles.

Here are just a few highlights of the week:

Passover. We learned about the Passover by reading the story in the scriptures and reading on-line about how Passover is kept today.  Very interesting and we learned a lot about the symbolism behind each part of the passover meal.

My five year old took his first solo peddles on his bike!  And my one year old took her first solo steps.  It was a sweet week of firsts.


My eight and ten year olds  decided to open a shop.  They made things to sell and then sent their little brother to get money to buy the merchandise.  He said he needed five dollars and then explained it was to buy two little trinkets from the shop.  I gave him 41 cents and told him to bargain.  The shop keepers were disgusted that their amazing wares were being offered so little.  This opened a door for a fun economic discussion.  They have a better understanding of recession, falling prices…

Van Gogh‘s birthday was this week and we all made a Van Goghesque creation.  I love that my children didn’t feel at all confined to copying his work.  They picked the subjects they liked best and went to town.  We used oil pastels to get the rich colors and texture without pulling out the paints.

Eggs Eggs Eggs.  Our favorite science this week has been following the Peregrine Falcon we have watched for several years now.  It is sitting on a clutch of five eggs.  Check it out and you will get to see those eggs pip and hatch and the babies get fed and then take wing.  ( I highly recommend reading the My Side of the Mountain books)  An uncle turned us onto a barn owl who’s babies hatched this week.  It’s been fun to watch the action as she keeps those hungry babies fed and warm. We also had fun talking about atrical vs. precocial eggs and identifying all our favorite birds.

If you asked my kids what their favorite part of the week was they would say it’s the time we spent playing soccer and running track in the gym of our church.  With the cold weather back we had to have somewhere to get our wiggles out.  It’s never been so fun to sweat!

My favorite learning this week was an article I read by Stephani at Simple Homeschool about living in the margins.  She has a great idea for Fridays as a free day.  It sounds so wonderful and I’m trying to make a plan for how we can have Friday’s like that.

Click here to find more great ideas at the weekly wrap-up.

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March 26, 2010

Weekly Wrap-Up, March 26, 2010

This week really has to count as our Spring Break…in spite of the fact that I’ve seen more snow than sun.  We started off with a fabulous Leadership Education Forum with a family ball last Saturday night.  The children were all in various stages of rebellion when it came to getting dressed for the ball, but in the end they danced until the band hit the last note.

Cousins came to stay for the week and our curriculum was fun, fun, fun.  We got to work on building relationships with those we love and don’t get to see often enough.  Cousins from two different states came to stay and there were so many giggly, happy, rowdy moments.  I felt so  much joy knowing that these are memories they will keep forever.

My three favorite stories…

We have a long tradition of fairies visiting us on camping trips and in backyards.  My thirteen year old has always loved fairies and has built a nice fairy following of her siblings and cousins. This week, the fairies visited without any of us moms knowing about it.  Bittersweet.  We no longer have to remember the late night trips out to the fairy houses (yay?) but my thirteen year old passed through that magical part of childhood and now will only return as a fairy herself (mama tears).  It was a beautiful transition to witness.

The crew went to our local mini-zoo in a tiny snatch of sunshine one afternoon.  While we were checking out the coyotes a Peacock, for some strange reason, flew into the pen and lost nearly all of his beautiful tail feathers, though escaped with his life.  It was a ferocious moment and though I’m not sure how often Peacocks and coyotes meet up in the wild, it was WILD!  Those coyotes spent the next hour fighting over, or protecting from each other, the feathers.  I think we all felt like we saw something more authentic than what we normally witness at a zoo.

We did a bit of skiing this week with our pile of children.  They buddied up and helped each other adventure all over the slopes.  I got to see little cousins helping littler cousins who hit their limit and thought they couldn’t even walk another step.

I like to ski with the kids and help them face the tough moments when it seems too hard.  But I love to ski with them when they realize that facing that hard stuff pays off and now it’s fun and pretty easy.  So, this week we saw the benefit of sticking with things, even when they seem difficult.  I forsee many years to come of happy fun in the snow with cousins…and fairies too.

Click here to visit Kris and to see what other families have been doing this week!

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